Foreword

One month shy of my 30^th birthday, I stepped on a scale and it changed my life! Unfortunately, it took another 6 years for the change to fully take place. For it was not this event alone that would be necessary to affect this change; but looking back now, I realize that it was, in fact, the ultimate catalyst in creating the man that I have become today. 

  I immediately realized two things when I stepped on that scale in the employee bathroom at my place of work. Firstly, I had let myself become oblivious to the consequences of my choices. It is significant that this was maybe the first time in five years that I had bothered to weigh myself, although it was visibly obvious that my weight had become an issue, even to the point of adversely affecting my health. Secondly, that I had somehow, quietly and progressively, become nothing more than a consumer. For though the digital display on the chrome accented glass scale was the only immediate indicator, I knew what the scale could not read…that my whole life was dictated by absorbing all pleasure, sustenance and amusement that I was able to avail myself of.

  The idea of being a consumer may not be alarming to some, but for me I knew it to be a pursuit ending only in misery. My upbringing had taught me that the loftiest ideal was that of helping my fellow man whenever the need or opportunity presented itself. The fact that I had allowed myself to slip so far down the scale to become nothing more than a vehicle of consumption scared the living daylights out of me. It could ultimately mean illness, loneliness, and if the house of cards were to fall in just the right direction, even death.

  Now before you, the reader, and ultimate partner in the fight against excess, begin to think me over dramatic, allow me to explain a thing or two. First of all, I did not believe that just because I was overweight my life and habits had become unmanageable. This was only a representation of the total inability that I had demonstrated to turn away anything at all that presented itself for consumption. My eating habits had become a reflection of my lack of will power, and will power was integral to the process of making the necessary changes that would provide the opportunity to live a better and more fulfilling life; or so I thought.

  Therefore, I soon afterward, after a series of other dramatic indicators, determined to develop a method of change; a way to address a problem that was unique in my estimation, but I now know that it is a solution that could benefit many individuals, for it is in the attempt that the strength is found, but in the practice that results are realized.

  I would never have believed that I could experience as dramatic a change in my life as I have been able to over the course of the last couple of years. My life had involved so many hairpin twists and turns (as do all our lives) that I functioned under the perception that change could only be affected by outside forces; I could not have been more wrong. The greatest changes that I have ever experienced in life were prompted by elements of character and determination existing inside myself. There is no greater, more satisfying and long lasting change than the one implemented by self. Yet, I have rarely, if ever, seen changes of this ilk effectuated without a helping hand offered by a concerned peer or fellow.

  Too many times in my life have I said “I’m quitting this†or “I’m quitting that†and seen no eventual result. We are, too many, familiar with the New Year’s resolution sham. A lot of cake gets eaten and a lot of cigarettes are smoked on January 2^nd. I had tired of constant resolve equaling nil result. Why was it that I was never able to follow through with my common proclamations? Why did a three day diet always have to be followed by a four day binge? I was certain that I had as strong a will as anybody (not quite sure why I thought that), so why could I never finish what I had begun? Contrarily, I was never really very good at getting it started.

  I came to learn, over the course of time, through varying events, that strength of will was not at the core of my lack of success. Although the disappointing results in certain areas may have seemed to indicate that I was a weak willed individual, I found this to be less than accurate. Evidentiary of this misconception were my accomplishments in various other, however menial, areas of my life.

  For there were those areas. Cigarette smoking was one of them. For years I had tried to quit smoking, with little success. However great the beginning, I would inevitably smoke again. I called upon all the will power at my disposal, but ultimately convince myself that it was not so important for me to quit right then! The routine was always the same; no matter how strong the initial resolve, my mind would convince me that, although quitting was desirable, it did not have to be today’s fight…and I would smoke again!

  What was the missing component? Where did the problem lie? I knew that if I could only answer these simple questions (not so simple, as it turned out), my problem would then be solved. I could achieve, I could succeed, and I could become the man that I wanted to be!

  Years later, I can now look back and see the error of my struggle. Many times I have been asked, “How do you do it? Where do you find the will?†My answer is always the same…â€Will has nothing to do with it. It is the decision that matters.â€

  I realize that as you read this, you may believe it foolishness, the idea that it does not take strength of will to overcome temptation and compulsion. I don’t blame you. Were I not sitting where I am now, I would still heartily believe that will was contingent to this kind of success. But I have traveled a path, and pioneers forge alone. My path has led to a destination, one which I could never have hoped for. I know what I am capable of, and I am no different than you; so the path is available, and I humbly offer myself as a guide.

  Do you remember New Years Eve? Do you remember saying “I am going to try and quit this, I am going to try and quit that; I am not going to have any of this, and most certainly none of thatâ€? Failure is debilitating, yet we clutch it to our breast as if it were our winter morning coffee. So how do we break this perpetual cycle of defeat? I can only tell you what I did. I decided!

  For far too long, I allowed myself an opportunity to retreat from resolve, always packing a parachute of abandon on the wings of wellness! And all along, all I need do was decide. You see, my experience had been that once my discomfort level had accelerated beyond my acceptance, I would convince myself that whatever the task at hand, it was not necessary or adequately beneficial to continue to suffer in such a way; and I would forego freedom. You see, the mind is uncannily powerful, especially when it is whispering! My regret was always immediately palpable, and I would assuage it with a promise of a future attempt. And the attempt would, in fact, come; and the familiar cycle would continue.

  The many people that I have worked with in the past, and am working with now, will all tell you unequivocally that daily they question the wisdom, benefit, necessity and purpose of their intent. BUT THEY HAVE DECIDED!!! That is truly all it takes, one decision resulting in much success. I believe that to be far better than many attempts resulting in no accomplishments. You can do whatever you please, if only you decide to!

  So I offer myself to you; not as a teacher, not as a guru, not as a leader and not as mentor, but as a guide. I have walked the path that you look down today; I have beaten it with my treads alone. And I return, to gather those that wish to enter, and we shall walk it together; it is not near so long as it seems!